Alec Baldwin–Starring Orphans Is Closing Six Weeks Ahead of Schedule

Despite getting nominated for two Tony awards last week, the Broadway revival of Orphans will be closing up shop on May 19. It was supposed to run through June 30, but it will be pulled early. The reason is fairly simple: No one was going to see it. This is obviously bad news for Orphans, but great news for whoever is working on a play about the beef between Alec Baldwin and Shia LaBeouf that lead up to the play. Ooo, maybe it could be a musical, with the LaBeouf character singing, “Theater belongs not to the great but to the brash, ole Alec,” and Baldwin responding, “I don’t think you’re in a good position to be giving interpretations of what the theater is and what the theater isn’t, Mr. The Beef.” It will be like a meta “The Confrontation.”