So Here’s What You Missed On Glee
A Wonder-ful Week: The episode opens with an unexpectedly sweet phone call from Rachel to Mr. Schue and she excitedly wants to tell him something that she hasn’t even told Kurt, her dads or Finn yet: Rachel had her callback that morning and the roll for Fanny is now just between her and two other girls! Rachel tells her former teacher, “I just want you to know that if it does happen, it’s because of you.” (Side-Note: Oh em gee! This is so sweet I think I’m getting cavity.) Will is incredibly humbled by the fact that Rachel sang “Don’t Stop Believin’” for her audition song and tells Miss Berry that he could not be more proud of her and the fact that she’s following her dreams.
Over in the choir room Will is bursting with glee and good news as he shares Rachel’s success, reveals that Brittany has been accepted to MIT and is currently touring the campus and happily tells the group that he re-proposed to Emma and she re-accepted. They’re getting married after regionals! (Side-Note: All together Wemma fans… Squeeee! Who else is doing the Wemma wiggle happy dance around their apartment? Just me? Alrighty then!)
Will then tells the group that it’s time to regain in inner optimism because it’s Stevie Wonder week. (Side-Note: Pssssst! Did you glee-bees know that I was the very first person that learned about this episode? Yup! Ryan Murphy told me all about it a few months ago and I was the lucky lady who got to share this "Wonder-ful" news to the world! Okay not-so-subtle brag over. Thanks for listening.)
In NYC we see that Kurt has been counting days off a calendar — and no it’s not the days until Smash is cancelled. In just two more days Burt gets his test results back and we’ll know if he’s officially cancer free. (Side-Note: I still can’t believe they’re putting Kurt and Burt through this. Pick on someone else’s parent!) The stress of not knowing his father’s fate has caused Kurt to embrace a few new OCD rituals into his daily routine — it’s his way of feeling a sense of control over his anxiety. So Kurt is off to Lima to attend Burt’s doctor’s appointment and in a flash we’re suddenly in the halls of McKinley. (Side-Note: Oh goodness! There’s a Klaine moment near! I can feel it, it’s close, it’s happening.)
Rolling in Lies: Over in the hallway A quick-witted Kitty stops Artie and confronts him as to why he’s been acting like such a Debbie Downer lately. Artie reveals that he has been accepted into his dream school of the Brooklyn Film Academy but he is not going to go but refuses to explain why. (Side-Note: Hmm… Color me curious! Okay, wait, no that was a lie. I honestly don’t care why Artie is refusing to go to his dream school but I feel bad that this is the biggest storyline he’s had all season so I’m going to pretend like I should give a hoot.)
Kurt is joined in McKinley by Mike and Mercedes in the choir room and all of the sudden the music starts to play and Kitty takes the lead singing an upbeat version of “Signed, Sealed, Delivered.” (Side-Note: I absolutely adore this song because it reminds me of one of my all-time favorite movies: Now and Then. God I wanted to be just like Teeny when I was little! Okay reminiscing over, back to Glee!) Kitty’s performance ends and she reveals that her song was for Artie to celebrate the fact that he was accepted into film school.
Mercedes says that the song was great but Kitty’s performance lacked ferocity. Kitty smiles and unleashes her verbal claws sarcastically saying, “Clearly we should be taking our advice from someone who came crawling back to Ohio after apparently having her LA dreams shattered.” Kurt quickly corrects Kitty boasting that Mercedes has an album coming out and she’s back in Lima to film a music video for it. Plus, apparently Mr. Schue asked Mercedes to be their new vocal coach and Mike to be their new dance coach to help prepare the kids for Regionals. Tina then promptly has another outburst about how life is unfair and #gleehatesgirls. (Side-Note: Dying from laughter right now. I don’t think Glee hates girls though Tina, sadly I think it’s just you. I still love you lots and lots though!)
Everyone in glee is really proud of Artie but he’s super duper pissed at Kitty because earlier he told her not to tell anyone. Whoops! She asks him what the big deal is and Artie reveals that his mom is freaking out about him moving to the Big Apple because NYC isn’t exactly wheelchair friendly. Kitty must have had a sugary breakfast this morning because she is all kinds of sweet and tells Artie that he would be amazing in film school and to not completely cross out the thought. (Side-Note: Oh okay so we’re totally dismissing the Catfishing storyline again? Awesome. Great. Cool. So we’re missing Santana, Brittany, Finn, Puck, and Emma and you’re still going to deny us the one thing from Lima that we really want? Also in all seriousness can someone please call Sugar and make sure she’s still alive?? I’m starting to panic here guys!)
Artie arrives home to see not one but two ladies waiting for him: his momma — the lovely Katey Sagal — and Kitty. Looks like Artie has been rolling around in a web of lies because his mom didn’t even know that he was accepted into film school. Kitty leaves so she can give Artie and his mom some time to talk but of course she couldn’t leave without calling him a wuss and then giving him on of those big-eyed death stares. (Side-Note: Wait, so why is it that Kitty is the one helping out Artie this week? Shouldn’t Glee have had Tina, help him and his mom come to their brilliant bonding moment? Yet again Tina — Artie’s ex-girlfriend and four year friend — has been pushed to the side and suddenly Kitty is everywhere.)
Artie’s mom confronts him about his lies and he quickly reveals the truth: “Because I’m afraid to go okay? I just thought it would be easier to blame it on you.” She tells her son that she is beyond confident that Artie will adapt and thrive in New York and there’s has to be a real reason as to why he’s hesitant to leave. Artie finally reveals the truth: “I don’t want to leave you alone, ever since the accident you’ve devoted every spare moment to me and it just seems selfish that the thanks I give is packing up an leaving.” She smiles and says that the thing that will make her happiest is seeing he son achieve his dreams. (Side-Note: And just like that, Artie wraps up the biggest moment he’s had all season)
Fearless and Brave: Over in the auditorium, Mercedes takes charge of the New Directions and explains to them that the reason they lost Sectionals was because they were all too afraid. Mercedes encourages Marley to let go of her fear and embrace the high notes and daring vocal runs in her songs. The music starts and Mercedes shows off her divalicious bravery with a soulful rendition of “Superstitious.” After the performance Mercedes and Mike approach Jake and tell him that he’s a triple threat: he can sing, he can dance, and he’s sexy as hell. (Side-Note: Duh. We’ve known that all season) They invite Jake to star in Mercedes’ music video and also encourage him to take more a leadership role in the glee club, despite the fact that he’s only a sophomore.
Mike takes to the front of the choir room and says the he’d like to share a dance with one of the newest and most wonderful students in glee — the handsome Jake Puckerman. The music begins and Jake leads Mike in a smooth moves dance duet to “I Wish.” (Side-Note: In addition to admiring Jake’s incredible dance moves, I also kept thinking of the penguin from Happy Feet when he tapped dance to this song. Then I thought of Jake dancing alongside that penguin. Then I giggled so hard that I got the hiccups. And then I put my glass of wine down.)
Kurt and Mike go on a search to find Mercedes and find their upset friend in the auditorium yelling into her phone. As it turns out, Mercedes’ producer is not the nicest guy — he loves her voice, just not her look so now it looks like the album is being put on pause until she reshoots the photo for cover. Mercedes takes some time to discuss the issue with her momma and then comes back to McKinley to tell the group her decision. Mercedes stands in front of the glee club and tells the group that after a lot of thinking and soul-searching she decided that she does not want to compromise who she is to sell an album.
In a flash back we see that she told her producer, “It’s my voice Martin, those are my songs, they tell my story. I’m not going to spend all this time working on my truth and then have you slap something that doesn’t even represent the real me on the cover.” She tells the group that she broke off the record deal but she still has a record and she’ll be selling these CD’s everywhere she can. Mr. Schue tells Mercedes that he’s proud of her for taking the higher ground and just like that, Mercedes breaks into “Higher Ground.” (Side-Note: I’m sorry… what?! You seriously mean to tell me that Mercedes gave up a record contract because she refused to show a little shoulder on the album cover and then she strips off her jacket dances around the choir room in that lil spaghetti strap dress? Okay. Um.. you go girl?)
Remission and Permission: At the Lima Bean Blaine is all aflutter with excitement over the marriage equality news in New York and tells Kurt that he can’t wait to be there to see it all. Blaine also tells his ex-beau that he’s looking cute today and then he clarifies: “And I mean like dirty cute.” (Side-Note: Yes! Finally some Klaine interaction! Also, I have no idea what “dirty cute” is but the fact that Kurt rolled his eyes is making me think that he didn’t like that confusing compliment. Dammit! Pull yourself together Blaine.) Kurt, Blaine, Mercedes and Mike all start to discuss Mercedes’ thoughts for her music video but it quickly becomes clear that Kurt is extremely stressed about Burt’s fate. The four friends exchange positive words and then hold hands in a really sweet — and not as corny as it may seem — way.
Over in the doctors office Kurt is anxiously pacing back-and-forth while Kurt and Carol are nervously waiting to hear the news. (Side-Note: I know that Cory was currently getting treatment at the time and I fully support the fact that he had to miss these last two episodes, but come on Glee! Couldn’t you at least give us a reason as to why Finn is missing from the waiting room? He should obviously be worried about his step-dad’s condition and the fact that we weren’t even presented with an explanation is degrading to Finn’s character.)
The doctor enters the room and tells the family that Burt’s tumor is gone and he’s currently in remission — aka cancer free. The family is ecstatic and Burt exclaims to Kurt all of the things he’s looking forward to: “You getting married, grandbabies, having old-people sex with Carol! I’m just so happy I’m not going to miss it. (Side-Note: Just though you all should know that I have tears in my eyes.)
Kurt is so excited that Burt is healthy that he asks his father to come to the choir room because he wants to dedicate a song to him. “The last time I dedicated a song to you in this room, you were in the hospital, but today we’re celebrating life’s most treasured and wonderful gift: a second chance.” Kurt then sings a lovely cover of “You Are The Sunshine of My Life” complete with back up dancers and lots of “oohs” and “aahs” from the group
Blaine is patiently waiting backstage in the auditorium and Burt comes up to meet him. After a familiar hello, Blaine presents Burt with a little rainbow pin so he could show his support for gay marriage when he’s working in D.C. Burt smiles and automatically reveals that gay marriage is at the top of his agenda — even though it makes him somewhat unpopular with his other colleagues.
Blaine is thrilled to hear that and he tells Burt something wildly unexpected: “I am so glad that you feel that way because assuming that we legally can, I wanted to formally ask for your permission to ask Kurt to marry me. Kurt is my soul mate and I know that I’ve hurt him badly but I also know that if I want to get him back I have to do something bold.” (Side-Note: I knew this was coming but I still coughed on my gummy bears from excitement in this scene.)
Burt tells Blaine that he knows how much he loves Kurt and that he has been like family to him, but he cannot approve of this choice. “No you’re still kids. Did you learn anything from Finn and Rachel?” Blaine retorts that he and Kurt are completely different from Finn and Rachel. Burt sits him down and explains that getting married is a lot more serious than people make it out to be. Burt points out that since Blaine thinks that he are Kurt are a meant-to-be, true-love couple then he doesn’t need to rush anything. Burt explains, “When two people love each other, like you two do, everything works out.” (Side-Note: I’m so confused. On the one hand I think Kurt and Blaine is the greatest couple since peanut butter and jelly and I want to see them ride off on a horse into a magical sunset together but I really don’t want Blaine to rush in to this.)
Unexpected Kindness: Back in the NYADA halls of New York, Rachel runs into the two snarky gossiping gays we met earlier this season and they quickly confront her about her second Funny Girl call-back. They reveal that the two other girls up for the role of Fanny is two-time Tony Winner Sutton Foster and Meryl Streep’s daughter Mamie Gummer. (Side-Note: Goodness gracious I love Sutton Foster. Every time I get the chance to speak with her she gives me a smile that lasts for weeks a time.) The evil twosome also reminds Rachel that all extra curricular activities must be signed off and approved by all of Rachel’s NYADA teachers — and that includes the dance teacher from hell Miss Cassie July.
On a rainy afternoon Rachel is practicing the lines for her callback in an empty classroom in front of the mirror. Just as we were imagining Rachel taking the stage as a perfect Fanny Brice, Cassie enters the room and flings her favorite insult: “Well if it isn’t little Miss David Schwimmer.” Cassie tells Rachel that she heard all about her Funny Girl callback from Barbra Streisand herself and as it turn out, Rachel’s dance midterm is the exact same time as the audition. (Side-Note: Sheesh! What are the chances? Ahem, why yes those last five words were drenched in heavy sarcasm — how nice of you to notice!) In an act of mean-spirited kindness, Cassie changes Rachel’s midterm to the following morning at 6 AM and assigns Rachel “the most difficult ballet routine ever devised.”
It’s the morning of Rachel’s dance midterm and Cassie happily says she’s ready to watch Little Miss Schwimmer fail but when she opens the door to the classroom, Rachel sees a large group of students waiting for her. Rachel is confused but Cassie is all kinds of amazing and this is exactly what the said: “This is your midterm. This is NYADA we are the best of the best. To make no mistake we will crush you to get the role ourselves but we are also family we get through it together and we celebrate each other when there’s big news—and this is big news. You’ve danced your way through the fire all year and you’re still standing tall so we are going to get you through this midterm so we can kick some NYADA ass and your first big Broadway call-back!” (Side-Note: I’m smiling so big right now it’s kind of hurting my cheeks.)
The group of students burst into cheers of excitement for Rachel and hold up signs of encouragement for her big day. The music starts and Cassie leads the class in a festively fun dance number to “Uptight (Everything’s Alright).” The song ends and Rachel is all smiles and laughing with the group while Cassie walks out the door with a sweet — and slightly smug — smile on her face. (Side-Note: Sometimes I may get irritated with Glee, yell at my TV, and gossip with my friends about the characters’ dumb life choices — but it’s moments like this that made me fall in love with the show. And I’m so glad that I did.)
The Final Five: The next day Rachel walks in to see Cassie and she presents her with a very special thank you gift — Debbie Allen’s original cane from the movie Fame. Rachel thanks Cassie no just for the song but for pushing her so hard these past few months. Cassie smiles and says, “I saw something in you that first day and I thought to myself, ‘This one’s special, this one might make it.’ And that’s why I’m so relentless.” Rachel then asks about “the whole Brody thing” but Cassie quickly dismisses that fling saying that was all for his abs. Cassie tells her student that she is confident that she will win the role of Fanny Brice and gives her a warm embrace before walking out the door. (Side-Note: Wait! Don’t leave us Kate! We’ll miss you Miss July — even though you scared the crap out of us.)
Over in Lima, Blaine pulls Kurt aside into a corner of the McKinley hallway and tells his love that he has something he wants to ask. (Side-Note: Oh my! Calling all Klaine fans: Is this the same place where The Box Scene took place?! God I love that scene with a fiery passion and if any boy ever repeated Blaine heartfelt list of promises to me I’d marry him on the spot. True story.) Blaine works to gather up his courage and it’s clear that he’s trying to ask Kurt to marry him.
Unfortunately Blaine keeps tripping over his words and getting all adorably nervous. In the end, Blaine changes his mind and asks Kurt if he’ll stay to cheer them on for Regionals. Kurt happily reveals that he was already planning on it and he wouldn’t miss it for the world. The two handsome fellas then walk arm-in-arm down the hallway together. (Side-Note: Love. Them.) Over in a ridiculously bright auditorium Artie leads the New Directions in singing “For Once In My Life” and Mercedes, Mike, Kurt and Mr. Schue join in on the fun.
Most Heartwarming Moment: Learning that Burt is cancer free! Now please never ever scare us with Burt’s life ever again!
Most Heartbreaking Moment: Saying goodbye to Miss Cassandra July. She may have been a crazy backstabbing psycho, but at least we know she had Little Miss David Schwimmer’s best intentions at heart.
Quotables:
“And I mean like dirty cute.” — Blaine
“Any if you ever imply again that I’m an old hag, I’m going to tip you over.” — Artie’s Mom
“When two people love each other, like you two do, everything works out.” — Burt
What did you think of “Wonder-ful”? Do you think Blaine should propose to Kurt? Was Mercedes right to walk away from her record deal? Sing your thoughts in the comments below!
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