The Dos and Don'ts of Dating from 'The Mindy Project': At a Frat Party (Season 1, Episode 23)

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Love is patient, love is kind, but love don't live here if it involves going to Haiti for a year. At least that's Dr. Lahiri's first reaction to hearing that her boyfriend Casey (Workaholics' Anders Holm)'s mission trip-in-the-making has finally been made, and will be sending him to the island nation (not "Party Island") to do the notorious g.o.d.'s work. This week's episode of The Mindy Project featured hard decisions and the hard truth of life: you're getting older. And nowhere in the world does a person over 25 feel more old than at a frat party.
Nothing, of course, could make such an experience worse than running into an ex-boyfriend you were convinced you'd marry ...who later left you for the bagel girl. (The bagel girl returns! Referentially.) That's right, you guys, walking perma-midlife crisis Tom (Saturday Night Live's Bill Hader) was back, making a fool out of himself at his old frat house because his wife left him and his life was in shambles. Tough titties, Tom: you blew it, and you can't get it back.
Thankfully, Mindy wasn't interested in his desperate affections and passed. Which seemed to settle things — until Casey showed up drunk in his clerical collar, flip flops, and socks. The two dudes battled it out for Mindy's affections, but the battle ultimately went to Casey and his higher power. Casey is actually serious about his relationship with Mindy — a notion that caught her so off-guard, she may be realizing (slowly) that she's less-than-enthused about the idea of "til death do us part"-ing with him. Just kidding! She totally loves it. And I totally love these two together.
Oh, also Danny and Jeremy managed to lure Morgan away from the midwives with a puppy and a show of familial affection toward the entire practice. Welcome back, Tookers!
So what did we learn from this week's episode of The Mindy Project? Oh, a little bit of this, and a lot a bit of that:
1.) Do Take Showers with Your Significant Other: Spice up your life AND get clean, all at the same time. Everybody loves a multi-tasking lifehack.
2.) Do Not Call Any Authority Figure a "Gurl": Except if it's Dr. Castellano (because we like it when he gets his feathers ruffled), but in general: just say no. Especially in a professional setting.
3.) Do Be a Mentor: Show someone else the ways of the world and help them navigate the tricky bits! It's a nice thing to do. People like it when you're selfless.
4.) Do Not "Boop" Another Adult Human on the Nose: Especially if you're not sleeping with them.
5.) Do Not Call Haiti "Party Island": Because there is literally nothing about Haiti that's a party.
6.) Do Be Understanding When Your Boyfriend's Dreams Come True: Sure that means he's going to a very, very poor country that's far away, but it's everything he wanted! Be supportive. A human bra, if you will.
7.) Do Not Ever Go to a Frat Party Over the Age of 23: Because nothing will remind you more of your own inevitable death than hanging out with a bunch of bros drenched in Jungle Juice.
8.) Do Not Underestimate the Power of Puppies: They work their sorcerers' magic with the most confounding of ease.
9.) Do Not Sleep with Your Ex-Boyfriend: Especially if he dumped you for the wife that just dumped him. No taksie-backsies!
10.)  Do Know That Love Takes Effort and Time: And sometimes that time is inconvenient — but if it's meant to last, it's worth it.
11.) Do Not Forget Number 8: Puppies, man. The most important rule in life is the puppy rule.
What did you think of this week's episode of The Mindy Project? Sound off in the comments!